Wings
by Bakaness
Summary: This came to me after noticing the resembelance between Demondo-sama and Yue from Card Captor Sakura. It's not exactly happy, and my first SM fic, so be gentle. :)


"Looking back on those old photos, I realize it's amazing anyone decided to follow me. I was so… young. So young, so foolish, so naive. And yet they believed in me. That was the second miracle.  
  
So what was the first, you ask? That He believed in me. Completely. He would look at me, and I would know that to him, I was perfect, I could do no wrong. That he would forgive me anything, without a moment's hesitation.  
  
He is the reason why I am Prince of Nemesis.  
  
How could I give him what he deserves, if I were not ruler? He has given me everything he has - it's my duty to protect him from all that would harm him.  
  
I wasn't always the person I am now. I know how people see me - justifiably arrogant, completely in control. Their Shining Messiah, all-powerful and all-knowing, protecting my children of Nemesis. I know how They see me, evil, commanding, cruel, the would-be conqueror of their home. I wasn't always like that. I was a baby, then a boy, and then a youth, before I became the man, to use the word loosely, I am today.  
  
I began my rise to power when I was but a boy. I was 14, I knew much of the theories of politics, but little of their practice. I still doubted myself, doubted that I had what I would need to conquer experienced, back-stabbing politicians at least twice my age. He was my first supporter. He reasoned with me whenever I began to believe the whisperings I heard. That I was too young, too weak, too stupid, too INNOCENT. Ha. If only they knew.  
  
I may have been born with the wings of an angel, but that doesn't mean I was born with the soul of one. No angel would have done what I have done.  
  
I lost my wings a long time ago, or so it seems. I lost them the day I set eyes upon a true angel. None other than the Flesh-Bound-Goddess, the beautiful Neo-Queen Serenity. That day, Saffir, dearest, beloved, loyal Saffir, lost the only thing he ever cherished - my undivided heart. And when my wing-less angel of a brother lost my heart, I lost my wings, and any innocence, any goodness that may have lurked within my soul.  
  
For all his intelligence - a genius thrice over - he failed to fully comprehend what it meant. Or perhaps he refused to. I'll never know. And I - I was too blinded to think. I thought the exchange of my wings for the Moon-mark meant that I had finally become a man. For who but a child can wear wings of purest white, the universal symbol of innocence? Well, a child, and the power of innocent love embodied, of course.  
  
I was a fool. Worse than I fool, an idiot. For who but an idiot would welcome the exchange of angel-wings for a mark of evil? I thought it meant that the childishness, the youth, I had been mocked for, had finally left me. In a way, it had. I thought I had finally come of age. I called myself a man.  
  
The next day, since I had finally, or so I thought, become a man, I cut off my hair. Saffir almost cried when he saw the waist-length locks shorn off. I didn't find out till much later that he had bribed the barber, and kept the hair, as a momento of happier times. He despaired of what was to come, and I was too blind to feel his pain.  
  
The day after that, the Moon-mark appeared on Saffir, poor, poor, innocent Saffir's forehead. He was glad to share the Marking with me - we had never looked much alike, and this way we shared a feature. He willingly shared my curse, even if I didn't realize it at the time. I've never deserved him.  
  
Within a week, my cousins also developed the Moon-mark. And I, like a fool, thought that this was the sign I had been waiting for without realizing it. I, and all those who served me best, bore a Marking so similar, but so different to Serenity's own. I took it as an omen of fortune - that it was time to conquer the Earth, to give my brother (for I still thought of him, just not as kindly or as often), the flowers he dreamed of, that he deserved, that I had promised.  
  
I was an idiot, a fool in the worst sense of the word.  
  
And my foolishness cost me the only thing that was ever truly dear to me - my brother.  
  
Oh I realize now, now that it's too late, that the Queen was merely an obsession, a dream, driven by the Wiseman. All that I thought I needed from her, I already had.  
  
I had light. I had innocence. I had beauty. I had unconditional love. I had an angel by my side. I had a soul. His name was Saffir.  
  
My stupidity caused me to murder the one I loved above all else. And, in doing that, I killed myself.  
  
I, who once bore the wings of an angel, failed to recognize a true angel when I saw one. Cosmic irony at its worst. I killed my own guardian angel, the one person who ever understood.  
  
I'm sorry Brother. I'm so sorry Saffir, my friend, my confidant, my hope, my strength. You were the one who should have been born with wings, not I. For you were truly an angel. I killed you, and I can never bring you back.  
  
I am sorry. I have shed the blood of an angel, and have only begun to pay the price.  
  
And you are not here to forgive me, and I am not arrogant enough to forgive myself."  
  
Demondo 


End file.
